A Quick Sniff Ahead of New Hampshire

POST- NEW HAMPSHIRE SNORT: I like how the news is reporting Hil's win as "an upset" while Obama's win in Iowa was an "upset." Clearly, folks of a democratic bent are thinking "we don't give a shit! Black dude, Bill's wife, Pretty-boy John... we'll take him! Just get the Bushies out!"

Cynical like any good Gen-X denizen who hollers from the sidelines, I have been bored witless by the political process that is Iowa. But now I am caught-up in the whoopdeedoo. So here are some quick observations about the candies:

Obama – Charismatic, super-smart, glib. Attractive to old-school liberals. Not terribly substantive. Would cause the racists to organize into a massive militia.

H. Clinton – Cold, confused, cowardly with regards to her support of the Iraq war. BUT, probably an effective executive on her own terms. She certainly has the Rolodex for a dynamic, experienced cabinet. PLUS would have access to the most qualified adviser in the history of the Republic. Super curious about whom would be the running mate. Technically, hubby could. Wouldn't he fucking love that?

Edwards – The real deal. Kennedyesque. Very sympathetic. More like B. Clinton during his “Man from Hope” era. Nightmare for corporate America or the biggest disappointment to the progressive Democrats. Might pull Greens. (whoopee! 17,000 votes!) Nader likes him.

Richardson – Probably the most qualified to be chief executive. All but invisible. Was he too fat?

Kucinich/Ron Paul – The usual angry populists who get the margins. Good ideas. Sane critiques. Very European in some ways. They’d do well if we had a genuine democracy. (i.e. proportional representation.) Proof of media and machine manipulation of the process. I like how Paul’s significant percentages in Iowa are relegated to a second graphic page on CNN as though he were a pesky Nader or John Anderson. – Kucinich: most appealing wife…. Next to Hilary’s.

Huckabee – Kindly. Friendly. Experienced. Funny. Absurd name. Anti-Evolution. Anti-Abortion. A nightmare.

Romney – above, but add $$$.

McCain – Dream-team with Colin Powell. Beloved of Reagan Democrats. Quietly corrupt. Slightly mental. Cowardly (in present incarnation). Wouldn’t fight back against Bush Jr. and pandered to Falwell. The choice of Lieberman. ‘Nuff said.

Guliani – Biggest fiction in Republican politics since Harding. Hero by default (like Junior). Exploits 9/11 at every turn. Destroyed crime scene (9/11). Hates ferrets. An unfunny joke.

Thompson – Evidently lost a bet. Complete non-entity. Hot wife.


Bottom line – A Green since 1990, I will vote for whatever Dem gets the numbers. I would prefer Edwards, but I am, like “whatever.” Not apathetic. Not slackering. More like, “just get us the fuck out of this abyss.” We are in a dark, dark place, people. And since no one in the House or Senate has the balls to get the impeachment ball rolling, we have to suffer another year of this loathsome, demonic, administration. - Still, there is something 40-Year Old Virginy about electing an African-American or a Woman... in other words, it would be about fucking time. I wouldn't kick them out of bed for snoring.